"Hey, you !" asked a soft, tender and crystalline voice behind him.
He turned around.
She.
She was there.
She came closer to him and kissed his lips.
It was a passionate kiss. Something he never experienced before.
His heart was pounding loud and strong.
He wanted to embrace her body and touch her, to feel what she was feeling.
It was love.
After sometime her mouth moved away and she whispered in his left hear.
"We have little time left"
He didn't understand.
"Grab my hand and follow me"
He did as she said and went after her. They walked for 15 minutes till they reached a small alley. They got into it and stopped at a wooden door which was old and rotten. A small window opened.
"My Name is Nobody" a feminine voice said on the other side.
"And Empty Words are Evil" answered her.
The door didn't open but he dragged him toward it anyway. He closed his eyes. An invisible force field passed through him.
He opened his eyes again and they started to fall down, in a tube of some sort.
They landed on a platform which amortized the fall. A little gate opened and he followed her in a tiny square with four street lamps and four benches.
"How can I call you?" asked Tyndur a bit intimidated by such a bold girl.
"Uriel. Don't worry, you can trust me" reassured him.
"It isn't just that. It has been two weird days for me since I saw at..." started narrating him but was cut short by Uriel.
"How was it?"
"What?" asked him confused.
"Your awakening"
"My awakeing?!"
"What you felt, did you like it?" remarked her.
"Yes...I mean. Yes. What's happening to me?"
"You're starting to use a part of your brain wich was inhibited at your birth. You'll get used to it"
"Wait, my brain has been manipulated to avoid this feelings? Who did it and why?" asked without a clue.
"The Leader. It's the only way to keep everyone under his fist"
"Ok, slow down. What is the point of the pills then? If he dislikes emotions why does he allow us to have them with the pills?"
"Because there're strays and he doesn't need them?"
"What happen to them?"
"We don't know. We're lucky that we've found you"
"Who's we? And what's this place?" asked him a bit tense.
"During the Leader's rise my family bought ShuangXi Dresses and used it as a front to help whoever was against the Leader's apathic vision. Unfortunately our mission didn't last and everyone got caught. We decided then to move here, a small unknown ShuangXi warehouse"
"I...I didn't know" said him, trying to show her his newly discovered empathy.
"Don't worry about it. There's something to be cheerful today" said her and accompanied him through a little door.
The light was suffused in the room. There werea dozen chandeliers which granted a bit of heat and a bit of light.
On an old armchair was sitting an old woman. Her wrinkles were thick and graced, like an handdrawn sketch, a peaceful, strong and beautiful face. She was wearing a blue robe with hummingbirds and cammelias. Her hair were short and dun. On both sides of her chair a lot of pictures, vinyls, movies posters, books and more were standing and expanding like she was the source of all that knowledge. 'Strange Fruit' by Billie Holiday, The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman, Romeo and Juliet, a Noh mask and a black and white picture which captured his attention. Two men and two women were smiling at the camera with oval glasses in their hands.
Edderkopp, Batestyr, Alim, Gehenna
Sint-Martens-Latem, Belgium - 1948
"Is that him?" asked her with a tremble voice.
"Yes mum" answered Uriel.
"It's...a pleasure...ma'am. I'm sorry if I'm a bit...embarassed and my hands are a little sticky at the moment" said him while shaking her weak hand.
"Don't worry darling, in this dark times it's like a breeze of fresh air to meet someone who feels anything" joked her.
"And call me Umay. It has been almost two hundred years since I've been able to introduce myself. I hope that Uri has been able to explain why you're here and why you're so important for our cause"
"She did. I still have to get a grip of all those emotions but I'm liking them so far"
"You can stay here darling. You need to come here more often now. Vigors doesn't like the people like us..."
"How do you know his name?" asked him, out of balance.
"Well, that's a long story. I used to go by a different name when we were younger"
"Anyway...we have to go mum. Me and Tyndur need to talk about a few things" intruded Uriel.
"Sure, Uri. We'll talk again darling" and they detached from her who was shaking her weak hand.
They moved out of the room and reached some kind of hut situated on the other side of the road, which seemed more like a corridor.
"She seems like a fun woman. What about your father?" asked him.
"He is....left us long time ago" answered her swiftly.
"I want to show you something, to help you in this journey of self discovery" said her, changing the topic.
"Oh, I'm a bit excited to know what's going to be" exclaimed Tyndur.
Uriel smiled at him.
They arrived in her room and she showed him her vinyl collection.
"Music is the best source of emotions. It can change your mindset, enhance your feelings, help you focus and more. It's a necessary element in our life" and put on a vinyl.
It was 'Time after Time' by Cindy Lauper.
The music spraded out in the room and the vibrations went into Tyndur ears. His body started moving. Slowly, a bit shy at first but he acquired more confidence along the way.
Uriel started singing and he tried to go after her.
"Wow, you're good. Why...why do I feel so uplifted, so happy?" asked him.
"That's the music. The vibrations sooth your mind and change your state of mind. It's pretty powerful, isn't it?"
"Ye...I just wished that something like it never got banned. I feel like I can draw something outlandish or write a story which has never been told. It's truly beautiful"
They stayed there, talking, listening to music, reading and exploring a whole new world which was unveiling in all its power for Tyndur.
Later in the day he looked at its watch and stood up.
"Where're you going?" asked her, worried.
"I have to go..." said him with sadness in his voice.
"Stay. Out there no one will accept you for what you know and what you feel. Here you can be safe. Here we can be together" remarked her while hugging his back.
"If I don't go to work tomorrow, they will start to investigate me. I don't want to let them find this place. This is too good to perish in the hand of the Leader"
She understood but she didn't detached from him.
"I...We will see each other again. Every evening and every weekend I'll be here. I want to know more about my newfound..."
"Empathy" said her smiling.
He hugged her and left while she was staying on her bed, looking at him going away.
From that day, she started meeting regularly as he said. Every evening he came, visited Umay and stayed with Uriel. His culture and emotional intelligence grew a lot. He started reading, writing and playing the guitar. They watched a lot of movies together. Animation, Thriller, Horror, Fantasy, Sci-Fi,...everything. After four months something changed. Something new happened.
Tyndur arrived at 5:30 pm as usual. He was wearing something different. A white suits with black and grey stripes, an unusual dress which he founded in one of the many wardrobes of Uriel's father. There was a small embroidery which was partly cancelled:
D. Anstyr
In his hands there was a bouquet, made of flowers handpicked by him in a minuscule park in the suburbs. He concealed it in his car all day in order to be able to get them to her without being caught. He still felt pain in his arm but it was less than four months ago.
He knocked at Uriel door. A sound of heels approached the door and the door opened. She was wearing a red tight dress which enhanced her breasts and defined her shapes. It was perfect on her.
"Hi, Ty" and she kissed him on his lips.
He immediately revealed his gift. She took them and put her nose on the flowers.
"They smell so good. Where did you find them?"
"A small green spot in the suburbs"
"Come here" she grabbed him and they kissed again.
She took his hand and brought him inside. The room was different. There were some candles, music and a little table with two glasses and some food. They ate almost of all of it and drunk a bit of red wine. After it they woke up and got on the bed. They were lying down, looking at the ceiling.
"Do you think that I'm ready Uri?" asked him.
"Well...yes. I think that you can do it. I just want to be with you"
"Me too"
"Sometimes it feels like a forbidden love, like the one about that old writer"
"Do you think that things aren't going to change for us in the future? Ty, you're a spark of hope. Maybe things are not going to change immediately but we will be together nonetheless"
"I just want to do something. I just want to help you. The truth needs to get out" remarked him.
"That's true but not today. Today will be your rebirth, after four months of pure emotions and no pills" said her and put her head on his breast while hugging him.
"Uri, is there a way to feel what you're feeling?"
"Yes, Ty. I've never thought about it but we can use it" said she while waking up.
"Go get some water. I'll get the synchronizer"
"Is it safe, Uri?" asked him a bit worried.
"Yes it is"
They both went outside, one to the main warehouse and the other to the smallest one.
Once he was inside he founded the usual mess. Ancient objects of another era and a lot of paper. He looked for some water's bottles. He found them, hidden behind an old Athame, a vehicle which was used a lot during the first years of the Leader's reign. It was hidden under papersheets. A lot of papersheets.
While he was moving them he read some lines.
Sint-Martens-Latem, Belgium - 18th June,1952
Our trials with the latest subject didn't go as expected. The side effects are too much, even for us. Spasms and lower brain activity in hypothalamus, amygdala and limbic cortex. We're trying to solve this issue by changing the tablets chemical composition. I think that we should lower the dosage for red and dark green.
We're in a hurry because the Department wants results and will cut his losses by shutting down The Octagon.
I'll ask to Gehenna to help me with our complications.
Fortunately the experimental intravenous tracer is proceeding well and we're going to test it on rats soon.
He put it to his side without giving it much importance. He grabbed four bottles of water and got back to Uriel's room.
As he entered, he founded her on the bed in his lingerie and a small machine.
"Get undressed and do as I say" said her.
He nodded and did as she wanted.
"Now, we're going to link our brains and our hearts. Take these two and put them on you head and your chest. Then lie down with me"
He followed her instructions.
"Now, once we press this button we'll just have to relax. If you resist it, it won't work"
She kissed him again.
They lied down and together, hand in hand, pressed the button.
At first they felt their heartbeat.
Their hands intertwined.
Then came a different kind of heartbeat. It felt at first distant but then it became closer.
He was feeling her and she was feeling him.
Their heartbeats were talking to each other. At times one was faster than the other.
Slowly they started to synchronize.
Till.
They became one.
They detached from the machine.
She got rid of her clothes. He did it too.
He kissed her on her neck, on her shoulder, on her back, on her breasts and get down.
After a short time of foreplay they got to it.
But it was different.
He didn't feel lust like last time. It was love. Pure love.
He was feeling her and how his movements were affecting her body.
This was beautiful. He was smiling. She was standing with her mouth open and her head slightly bent back.
She hugged him. Her soft hands on his strong body.
He kissed her.
Again.
And again.
It lasted a few minutes.
When they stopped making love, he moved to her side while keeping his hands on her body. They looked in each other eyes. Both smiled.
"I love you, Uri" said him.
"I love you too, Ty" said her as she kissed him again.
The knife was cutting through the mid cooked steak. The muscles were being chopped by the sharp blade. The slice went into his mouth who chewed it slowly and with delight. To the steak's side there was a bunch of potatoes cooked in the oven with white truffles grated on them. He took the red wine's glass on his right and sipped it.
In front of him there was Kassar in his usual clothes.
"Do you want some? It's delicious" asked him.
He didn't reply immediately. He lingered a lot. Kassar always felt a sense of awe in front of him.
"You can answer to me. This isn't the first time you're here" ordered him to Kassar.
"Thanks doctor, but I'm full" answered him.
The pill was being effective. He was in control because Kassar was under the influence of a blend of TE4S and AM5F.
"I've liked your services so far but I won't need you for the foreseeable future. I get that you're worried about Tyndur but this time I'll step in. You can go" commanded him.
Kassar stood up and went away. While he was moving to the door the doctor said one last thing.
"Do no interfere with what was set in motion. I'll get you executed as any other stray if you get in my way" threatned him.
He didn't answer but he moved quickly away.
He sipped again from his glass and looked at the direction where Kassar went.
An old man appeared from a door on his side. He was sharply dressed and his mustaches were carefully groomed.
"How did it go Mr. Batastyr, sir?" asked him.
"Marvellously Carver"
"Are you sure about the outcome?"
"I didn't left half your empathy to undermine my confidence Carver. Everything is good, anyway"
"Excuse me, sir. It won't happen again"
"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" asked Batastyr annoyed.
"Your wife called three times this week. Do we have to block her number in order to eliminate this nuisance"
"Don't. Carver, I think that it's time to meet her again. We should celebrate with her for all which has been accomplished in the last four months" said him with joy.
As he said that, Batastyr drinked again his wine and savoured it in his mouth with great pleasure.
Mr. Nicklas: Are you a doctor?
Rosemary Woodhouse: He is an actor.
Mr. Nicklas: Oh! An actor! We're very popular with actors! Have I seen you in anything?
Guy Woodhouse: Well, I did "Hamlet" a while back, didn't I, Liz? Then we did "The Sandpiper"...
Rosemary Woodhouse: He's joking. He was in "Luther" and "Nobody Loves an Albatross" and a lot of TV and commercials.
Mr. Nicklas: That's where the money is, right? The commercials.
Guy Woodhouse: And the artistic thrill too!
Uriel smiled after hearing the character's joke.
"What...what are commercials?" asked Tyndur.
"Well, they're like...Imagine a short movie which tries to convince you to buy something" tried to explain her to him.
"Just it? You look at one...commercial and immediately after it you're going to buy the product"
"Not like it, silly...In the past they used to swamp TVs with a load of commercials. It was before capitalism was bent to the Leader's will. Today there're some firms but all of them are in his hands. There's no need for competition today. Your job exist only to keep your mind in check and to avoid any kind of revolutions which could threaten the nation's stability" explained her to him.
"So, I've been a cog for all this time. A simple, dumb cog in an unchangeable system" said him.
"More or less...yes"
"That's bad"
"That certainly is"
"Who is free then?" wanted to know Tyndur.
"Me, my mother, you, the Leader and his associates. Who is off the grid, who knows about and who controls it"
"How do I know if I'm really free?"
"That's an hard question Ty. Ask me something simplier" said her while hugging him.
"If we're free, why can't you come to my apartment just one night?"
"It isn't safe and my mother is too old to stand up for herself"
"But, it's just one night. It's months that we're taking the necessary precautions. I just want to stay in a normal apartment for one night"
"I don't think that's the best choice. At least here we have books, music and movies. We won't be able to watch Rosemary's Baby at your flat, if you think about it"
"I know. I just want you to be with you for one night at my place. Allow me that. You can trust me. Nothing's going to happen"
"I'll talk to my mother and we'll think about a solution together"
"I've already talked to her about it"
"When? Why? I thought that it was hard for you to interact with her" said her bemused.
"Well, I thought that telling her would've put you at ease"
"It did but what did she say?"
"Something like The night should be yours darling. Regret could be bad."
"Just it?"
"Exactly"
"So, I think that one night will do. Only because you've insisted Ty" said her while messing up his hair.
He hugged and kissed her.
"Finally" said to himself.
A few weeks passed since Tyndur and Uriel had this conversation. He was looking at life in a radically different way. Knowing that he was inconsequential let him be free to enjoy more his time alone, because he had a lot to think about. His mind was firing up like a star. He also stopped meeting up with Kassar because he wasn't able to talk with him anymore. His emotional mind was on a different track now. He was isolated and only two people were able to understand him but at least he wasn't miserable. He wasn't able to believe that he has been clean for more than eight months. Uriel was happy of it too.
"Everything is well then, isn't it Tyndur?" asked him Vanth.
"Yes" said him while trying to be as apathetic as possible.
"It's odd anyway. I've never seen a brain like yours in all these years. You seem changed"
He didn't say anything. He just felt a little embarassed.
"I was thinking that maybe we can have a little test today. What do you think?"
"I agree" said Tyndur but he was afraid about the test.
"I just want to know how you react to mental stress to evaluate your mind. We don't want you to feel sad or lonely"
"I agree. I'm ready for it"
He wasn't. He was afraid. He just wanted to be at home. With Uriel. Unfortunately Vanth wanted to do it. He just had to be relaxed and everything would've been alright. He hoped.
"Alright, we'll start now. Don't worry, it will be quick. I'll just have to put you those on you..." said him while he was sticking three probes, one on his mind, one on his heart and one on his wrist.
"Now. You'll watch a short video of five minutes. Just watch it. You won't be hurt in anyway"
He pressed a button and the tape started. A bunch of scenes started appearing on the screen.
The waves undertow on a sandy beach.
Green trees moved by a gentle breeze.
A crystal lake graced by the dawn.
The sunset in a cloudy day on a beach.
Water creeks singing a smooth and gentle song.
A valley surmounted by mountains.
A burning greenwood.
Animals killed in a slaughterhouse.
Animals hunted down by men.
Animals running away from the raging fire.
Fishes in nets, struggling for their lives.
Fishes dying of chemical intoxication.
Dying children.
Dying babies.
Dying people.
People begging for food and money.
People dying of cold.
People killing other people.
Men killing women.
Men raping women and children.
Riots.
Police hurting citizens.
Inmates hanged and killed by the electric chair.
People tortured in gruesome ways.
The atomic bomb.
The bomb's aftermath.
Blood.
Blood.
Blood all over the screen.
Light.
The tape ended.
He was trying to keep all quiet and emotionless.
It was hard.
The tape left him destroyed.
"Well then, how do you feel Tyndur?" asked the doctor while freeing him of the probes.
He didn't answer.
"Tyndur, you have to tell me how you feel. It's necessary for the evaluation"
"I.." answered him with a feeble voice but stopped in order to give it the right tone.
"Nothing has happened here. What I saw was inconsequential" said him with confidence.
He was lying but it was the only way to avoid exposing his secret.
"Good, now you can go. We'll meet again, shortly" said Vanth.
Tyndur stood up and went out of the room quickly. He reached his car and went straight home.
He was shaken to the bone. He had some troubles getting into his apartment because his hands were shaking. His heart was accelerating. He drunk a glass of water and lied down. Time passed slowly. Slowly. Slowly.
Someone knocked at his door. He looked at the time. It was already late. Who could've been?
He went to the door with caution and looked in the camera. A hooded person was looking for him. There was something familiar about it. He opened the door and the person hugged him while closing the door behind her.
"I thought that the worst was going to happen to us today" said her.
"Uri?" asked him.
"Yes, it's me"
"What are you..wait, is it today the day?"
"Yes it is"
He kissed and hugged her again.
"After today's experience, you are what I needed the most" and kissed her again.
"I felt it too, what happened?"
"My doctor wanted to do a test. It was sick. It pushed me to the limit. He wanted to see if I would've manifested any kind of emotion"
"I knew about it. Usually they use it during citizen's examination. Did you show something because my heart was running with yours?"
"I didn't but it was hard to get through"
"Who is your doctor?"
"Vanth Batastyr"
"I think that he's in one of my mum's pictures"
"I saw it. Does your mother know him?"
"I don't know. She never spoked about the things happened before my birth. I don't think that it's a big deal. He could've been just a classmate"
"Are you sure?" asked Tyndur worried.
"Yes...I think...I think so" said her lingering a bit.
Meanwhile Umay was sitting on his chair, looking at the door. She was waiting for something to happen. Der Tod und das Mädchen by Schubert was being radiated by a small gramophone which was brought to her by Tyndur. He found it in one of the many warehouses where there was everything which she and her friends have been able to save during the Leader's first years of terror. She was extremely quiet and relaxed. She was enjoying the music.
The sound of approaching steps came through the door. She tilted her head a little and moved her hands toward's the chair's armrests.
Someone knocked at the door.
One time.
Two times.
The knock evolved into a ramming. Someone was trying to tear the door down.
One time.
Two times.
At the third the door unhinged and felt down.
An old but muscular man was there. He was wearing butler's clothes.
"As always Carver has to be so dramatic" said a smooth voice behind him.
She didn't flinch but tried to catch who was behind Carver with her eyes.
"Carver, leave us alone now" commanded the voice.
The huge butler moved and the voice's owner showed himself.
She squeezed her armrests.
"Good evening my love. Aging didn't break your beauty" said him while kissing her trembling hand.
"I've seen that you kept our picture. You are not able to get past after our...separation, don't you?" said him while looking around.
"You...you came back" said her, afraid.
"Yes, my love. It would've happened one day or another. I've always had an eye on your little shithole"
"You still are so young and...beautiful. How Vanth?"
"You should've accepted Gehenna and her studies. You would't look like...you know how you look like now" answered him.
"Living longer doesn't mean...living better"
"You wouldn't understand. You and your ethics. If it wasn't for me we won't be living in a modern utopia"
"You've taken...my...researches and turned them into an abomination" said her with a blaming tone.
"Ours my love. Ours. You didn't understand the potential of your achievements"
"The people should've become more empathic. Emotions should've been the driving force of...our society"
"And sacrifice productivity, moral and more just for your delusion. Today the people are exactly what we wanted. Free"
"Freedom...isn't coercive"
"At least we won't have to worry about unwanted pregnancies and psychological problems because they're not relevant anymore. This is peace for all time"
"This is slavery...nothing more. Are you saying that Uriel was a mistake? Are...you saying that our daughter shouldn't have lived?"
"Exactly. She doesn't deserve to live, actually. She is just what I'm not. She has grown into the most hateable kind of person: a strong and independent being"
"You...you're a monster"
Vanth stopped for a while and then turned off the grammophone.
"Am I? You are the one who wanted to play with people minds. You're the one who concealed the truth to your daughter. We're both monsters. At least I've created a society which isn't made of nightmares"
"You...you're just sad because I wasn't able to give you a son"
He looked at her and then smiled.
"If you despise me that much why have you tried to reach me?" asked him.
"I...I just wanted to get you back. The old Vanth. The one I felt in love with"
"That's so...you" answered him disgusted.
"At least...I'm myself"
"That's enough. Carver, bring Raphtalia" said him, with an agered voice.
"What...what are you doing?"
"Carver, you know her. If she tries something funny, help her get her medicine" said Vanth looking to his butler.
"Of course, Sir"
Vanth came towards her, opened one of her hands and put a white pill in it. It was characterized by a octagon's symbol on one side and a raphtalia on the other.
He kissed her lips then moved away.
She stayed there looking at the pill in her hand.
Tears in her eyes.
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