Reviews by:
@the_owlseyes
RATE THIS MOVIE
6
5
4
3
"I'll stop you right there. Are you sh!£ting me? Don't read this lame and boring review, which is good to wipe my beautiful ass. Yes, and move yours because it's time to find a new hobby. What's the point of scrolling your home like a dumb monkey?
Now movie your ass and get Disney+. I know that it isn't cheap, do you think that Mickey f***ng Mouse and Bobby live with the stimulus check?
Now do it, watch the movie and experience my awesomeness by yourself. Or do it with a girl. It could be great for a fisrt date. Maybe I can help get you laid. Sex is soooo soooooooo
good. And treat her with care, as a gentleman, not as a sh*ttard a**hole.
Nice chat.
Now get the f**k out"
"Still here. You really want to know about my movie. Ok you lazy motherblusher.
On IMDb the plot is "A wisecracking mercenary gets experimented on and becomes immortal but ugly, and sets out to track down the man who ruined his looks", which is the laziest attempt at describing this majestic movie. It's about me obviously(I'm Deadpool, if you haven't been able to figure it out from this post's cover) and my revenge against Francis, a british cockhead.
Obviously is an origin story but I'm not a hero, don't f***ing say it. I'm the best villain the shitty X-Men universe has been seen. At least, it has been like that as long as I have been under the claws of a dumb production company. One of the worst. It's more known for it's crappy political mumbo-jumbo than its movies. So sad, yeah. I deserved more but I fear that Disney producers will f**k me up as they did with Star Wars.
Anyhoo let's get back to this marvellous script. I'm well written but there're some cliches. Unfortunately Rhett and Paul preferred to do an half-baked job rather thant working their godddamned ass off. Thanks to this morons the villain, Francis, is a one dimensional douchebag without an interesting goal. Unfortunately I should say the same about Vanessa, f***k I miss her boobs and ass, she's so sweet and a dragon in bed, Dracharis motherf***s.
I'm the first and only good adaptation of myself so it felt amazing. Being a superhero R-rated movie in a world of PG-13 s**t. I can't wait to join my Marvel's fellows. Just to shake up a bit the dumb seriousness of all of them. I hope that it won't be to politically correct, because I don't want to be part of anything woke as hell. White people and their f****g necessity to feel better by being hypocritical. I'll give myself a....7. I wanted to go for 8 but my actual writer likes pickles....up his ass"
"I don't know why. is it necessary to add another paragraph?
Ryan is the best pal I've ever had. He knows how to imitate me. I felt like Leo diCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street, this movie is sick. Do I need to say more? I get an 8. I don't care if for you is a 7. Now I control your f****g keyboard motherslasher"
"Again. Stop"
"Stop.
Ok. The costume is beautiful and makes my ass beautiful as ScarJo. God, I want to touch myself now. 8 again. Boom. Pretty high votes, do you like it? F***k objectivity, it's for people with a stick up their a-hole"
"DMX is legit guys and Tommy is a gift from Hans Zimmer. 8. Don't, it's stays like that. 7. You cockhead, stop being so lame. It's 8"
"I'll skip the rest because it's all 6. This way I'll let you have more time to download the movie. Pirate it and f***k the police. Who cares about pigs?"
"It's a 7"
"Ok, now I have to go because I have to kill some baddies and bang my girl"
"Shew...get the f***k out. No one is paying you to stay here"
RATE THIS REVIEW
6
5
4
3
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